end

I felt the need to simplify, so I changed the template, it's not very pretty.

I feel like not talking for a week. I have been singing all week. Two concerts and lots of rehearsals do that to a person. But, CoraVoce is over for now, and for that I am thankful. My throat and voice needed a break.

Things are ending, and I couldn't be more excited. Next semester will consist of lots of French, Working, Math, and some skiing. :) couldn't be more excited.

I'm behind in school, but I have a LARGE course load, and I'm working part time. So it's understandable. I can't do it all.

I wasn't planning on this being an update, but for now it's what it is. I'm excited for endings. but for now, a project due tuesday. and then sleep.

nothing

It's late, and I'm ready for bed. Which is a good thing, rest is very,very good these days. With the weather it makes me want to stay in bed all day, last night i crashed before setting my alarm. oops:)

oh well. im falling asleep. tomorrow...or this week. maybe i will write.

who am i?

do you title your blogs first? i never do. always the last thing.anyways.

i'm not really sure i know who I am these days. I have gotten so caught up in everything that I'm doing that I don't even know what I like any more. when you look around my room, the school books take over the majority of the room, and clothes take over the rest. but in my one corner I have all my yarn in a box calling my name. piled in another area is a stack a foot high of photography books and DVD's i need to go through.

my life consists of work, school work, driving, and running around doing things I don't really want to do. when i got my car, i was excited thinking i could meet friends for dinner, go sit at a coffee shop and write, go shopping when I want to, and visit family or friends when I'm lonely. But now every where I go and everything i do is merely because its something to check off in my planner. None of it is because I want to. i mean yes, tomorrow dinner with matt, i want to do that, but again its just slipping it into my tight schedule.

i'm aching for a bit more freedom. but not freedom to do all those boring things. freedom to just rest, or get a text from a friend and meet her for coffee. or write in my journal, or knit a scarf, or watch a movie with my family.

I'm not really sure who i am, or why i'm here anymore. I'm incredibly self serving and it's driving me crazy.

i never rest, and that too, is driving me crazy.

goodnight.

why

Why do I only blog when I am supposed to be writing a paper? I hate when this happens. I have english essay writers block. I REALLY don't want to talk about my english paper though. All I can is I'm a white, teenage girl, writing about Martin Luther King Jr.'s speech. hmmmm.

Have I mentioned recently how much I LOVE my job? I love the people I work with. I love the fact that they actually seem to care. I actually hold conversations with them. some more than others. The conversations are enlightening, and mostly God honoring. I love the fun I have at work, and the fact that I actually get to make money while doing it. Of course, I don't ALWAYS want to go to work, but I try to keep the right attitude and I still love it every day:)

Ok, this was pathetic writing. but the wedding planner is almost over, and I have written one sentence of my 4-6 page paper. better get moving.

I am

My posts are always about being overwhelmed....wonder why? I'll try not to make this about life being overwhelming, even though it is. I'm just going to talk about the most recent things in my life in totally random fashion

I have been sick for around 3 weeks now. its no fun. i always forget to take my pills which make things even worse.

Today was my best friends 16th birthday, and shes 800 miles away in New Hampshire, which is where she lives now.

I'm getting a little bit organized in school which helps. thanks mommy:)

I work alot at chickfila :) the holidays will be crazyyy.

fall social is the 20th. my dress is beautiful. and my date is superrrrrr handsome.

I went to my first professional football game yesterday:)

Cora Voce's first performance is next thursday, and i dont have my music down.

I miss a lot of things in my life.

im exhausted.

the end.

overwhelming

Life is incredibly overwhelming. As I type this, I know I should be writing my essay for English due Thursday. I should be working on chemistry and studying my French. But I find myself drowning in work and not sure which way to turn. I sadly, cannot survive on small amounts of sleep. I also cannot fall asleep before midnight. Which results in sleeping til 8, sometimes 9 and leaving me rushing each morning. I work 3 sometimes 4 days a week and I have classes that take up my day 4 days a week. It leaves me exhausted, stretched to thin, unaccomplished, unprepared, unsocial, unfriendly, missing God, and so much more.

I miss being able to; read because I wanted to. Knit for no reason. Watch a movie in the evening. Sleep in some mornings. Talk to Matt. See my friends. and so.much.more.

Now my best friend is moving to New Hampshire, and I'm getting old, and life is flying by. I have so many goals and I haven't figured out how to motivate myself to do them just yet. I wish I could take a week off from school, and work. I could just catch up on my home duties and get myself completely put together. I dont feel like I have been "together" in a VERY long time.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my life. I love being busy and I tend to thrive in stressful situations. But I do miss things about my old life. I wish I could combine the two.

But now that I have rambled and made no sense I shall go. Attempt to write a paper and make it to bed by 1.....30. Prayers are appreciated.

Would you like Fries with that?

Today was my first day as a Team Member at Chick-Fil-A. Well, I'm going to slightly walk you through my day!

I got there, slightly rushed at 10:30 with my shift starting at 11. They told me my uniform would be in so I went early so I could get dressed. I got there and discovered my uniform wasn't in so I was given a shirt and told to change. I was wearing not so comfy jeans and flip-flops. 2 dollar foam, 2 year old flip flops. That I can't stand in for very long. So yes, I wore flip-flops on my first day of work, for 6 hours straight. Bad idea. Well, then I went out and was placed out front working on a register. Well first I should say, the floor is really slippery. I mean REALLY slippery. I felt like I was ice skating all day to say the least. It was fun in the front I could take a step or two and then sliiideee. But in the back, it was pretty dangerously slippery. Lets just say, I can't wait to get my slip resistant shoes. Well, I wasn't amazing at the register at first but I think I got it down pretty well by the end of the day. It's a learning process they keep saying:) I'll get it eventually! I worked from 11-4 so I had about a half hour to get things down until the lunch hour rush hit, and honestly, lunch hour rush was my favorite part all day!!

Of course, I messed up, I discovered I stink at making ice cream cones, and I'm good at making milkshakes. I'm trying to learn the short hand, I spill pop frequently, and seem to always forget something. But I'm getting it:) There were a few moments that stood out today, one in particular.

It was during some what of a rush, My customer had ordered a salad and dressing, I went and grabbed the salad and sitting beside it was a little container of something, I thought it was a special dressing I grabbed it and threw it in the bag. My customer soon returns asking for her dressing and as I'm grabbing it, I hear some people saying where did the blueberry topping go?? I tried not to giggle realizing I had given my customer blueberry topping for her salad. No one will ever know;)

We had a milkshake catastrophe today too and cream was everywhere. But that one wasn't COMPLETELY my fault thankfully:)

My co-workers are wonderful. They all took me under my wing and adopted me today and they all helped me out and it was great!

I should probably go to bed so I can do it all again tomorrow!!!

Explore.Discover.Pursue.

I thought I would use this post as somewhat of an update, and tell you all what this coming year will hold.

Well for those of you who don't know, I have spent my summer in Ravenswood. But thankfully I will be returning home around the first week of September. Within the first week I'm home I'll be diving back into the old routine immediately, except with a few changes. First I figured I'll list my classes I'm taking this year.

English Composition 101 -WV State

American History - Lifepac

Chemistry - Lifepac

Algebra 2 - Teaching Textbooks

Foundations in Personal Finance - Dave Ramsey DVD's

Spanish - Rosetta Stone

Home Economics - Mrs. Edwards

Photography

Test Prep ( PSAT, ACT, SAT)

Piano - Erica Rolfe

Cora Voce - Emily Capece

So those are my classes/activities:) I am also hoping to be working at Chick-Fil-A starting ASAP. I will also be taking a cleaning job that I will be cleaning at once a week :). I will also be in the process of re-doing my bedroom and then after that helping my sister and mother re-do theirs also. I will also be helping a lot and home and making lots of changes and taking on more responsibility.

But my goals for this coming year, are to explore my life, my self, my passions, and my dreams. I want to discover and then I want to pursue :) I want to follow my dreams of photography and try and get an actual business up and running. I want to follow my musical dreams also. I want to play music more often, and write from the heart. I want to grow as a musician in many different ways.

But more than anything I want to discover my relationship with Christ. I want to grow in Him in every way. Fall more in love with Him, and discover who I am in Christ. That I am His :)

I think these are good goals:) But one last goal is Time Management. I will learn to make good use of my time, and learning to get up earlier and just being useful in general :)

I think I'm going to grow and change alot this year, and I cant wait:)

Over and Under

Sometimes, I meet people who do it all. They work, do amazingly well in school, have a major social life, and still have time to relax and keep it all together. At least thats how it seems. I on the other hand only DREAM of being that put together.
What I wouldnt give to sleep the perfect 7 hours each night, wake up beautiful and rested. Get up do a ton of school or go to work looking great. I'd love to manage my social life and have straight A's and feel smart.
But this isn't me. I normally wait til the last minute to finish projects, always have a messy room, and always sleep past my alarm. My hair never lays perfect, and I dont have straight A's that I truly worked hard for. I slack off in a lot of ways and I still don't have time for anything.
Some people would call the first person an overachiever and some would call me an underachiever. I resent both titles. People normally think that people who overachieve ar stuck up, and not friendly, and work too hard. Especially teenagers. But as a Christian I should be giving 100% in everything I do. School, cleaning, friends, and much more. Some people would think, your just a teenager you dont need to be working so hard. But I feel as though I should be, in order to give 100% for God!
I can promise you, I will still have hairs out of place and my make-up wont be perfect. I wont get perfect scores on all school assignments, and I will still hit the snooze button 10 times some mornings. But I can tell you that I hope when you see me now, I'm a bit more put together, and doing 100% in everything I do. Call it want you want. But I'm ready to be an overachiever.

Praise You in this Storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes onto the hills

where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

My life recently has been a storm. But I'm learning to praise him in my storms.

Today driving home from Ravenswood I drove through the biggest storm I had seen in a long time. It was only me and Katie, and I'll admit. I was terrified. I knew our lives were in my hands....but I knew overall they were in God's hands. On the way home I started to pray harder than I have in quite a while. I was begging God to keep us safe. To get me to the next exit alive. To control the car and those around me. We ended up getting off an exit, and going down a road I didnt really know. But God stopped the rain while I was lost. He truly kept us safe today, and I'm incredibly thankful. Yes I hydroplaned a few times and came close to loosing control. But I was safe in His hands. I praised Him through that storm.

Now I'm ready to praise him through the storm I'm going through now:)