end

I felt the need to simplify, so I changed the template, it's not very pretty.

I feel like not talking for a week. I have been singing all week. Two concerts and lots of rehearsals do that to a person. But, CoraVoce is over for now, and for that I am thankful. My throat and voice needed a break.

Things are ending, and I couldn't be more excited. Next semester will consist of lots of French, Working, Math, and some skiing. :) couldn't be more excited.

I'm behind in school, but I have a LARGE course load, and I'm working part time. So it's understandable. I can't do it all.

I wasn't planning on this being an update, but for now it's what it is. I'm excited for endings. but for now, a project due tuesday. and then sleep.

nothing

It's late, and I'm ready for bed. Which is a good thing, rest is very,very good these days. With the weather it makes me want to stay in bed all day, last night i crashed before setting my alarm. oops:)

oh well. im falling asleep. tomorrow...or this week. maybe i will write.

who am i?

do you title your blogs first? i never do. always the last thing.anyways.

i'm not really sure i know who I am these days. I have gotten so caught up in everything that I'm doing that I don't even know what I like any more. when you look around my room, the school books take over the majority of the room, and clothes take over the rest. but in my one corner I have all my yarn in a box calling my name. piled in another area is a stack a foot high of photography books and DVD's i need to go through.

my life consists of work, school work, driving, and running around doing things I don't really want to do. when i got my car, i was excited thinking i could meet friends for dinner, go sit at a coffee shop and write, go shopping when I want to, and visit family or friends when I'm lonely. But now every where I go and everything i do is merely because its something to check off in my planner. None of it is because I want to. i mean yes, tomorrow dinner with matt, i want to do that, but again its just slipping it into my tight schedule.

i'm aching for a bit more freedom. but not freedom to do all those boring things. freedom to just rest, or get a text from a friend and meet her for coffee. or write in my journal, or knit a scarf, or watch a movie with my family.

I'm not really sure who i am, or why i'm here anymore. I'm incredibly self serving and it's driving me crazy.

i never rest, and that too, is driving me crazy.

goodnight.

why

Why do I only blog when I am supposed to be writing a paper? I hate when this happens. I have english essay writers block. I REALLY don't want to talk about my english paper though. All I can is I'm a white, teenage girl, writing about Martin Luther King Jr.'s speech. hmmmm.

Have I mentioned recently how much I LOVE my job? I love the people I work with. I love the fact that they actually seem to care. I actually hold conversations with them. some more than others. The conversations are enlightening, and mostly God honoring. I love the fun I have at work, and the fact that I actually get to make money while doing it. Of course, I don't ALWAYS want to go to work, but I try to keep the right attitude and I still love it every day:)

Ok, this was pathetic writing. but the wedding planner is almost over, and I have written one sentence of my 4-6 page paper. better get moving.

I am

My posts are always about being overwhelmed....wonder why? I'll try not to make this about life being overwhelming, even though it is. I'm just going to talk about the most recent things in my life in totally random fashion

I have been sick for around 3 weeks now. its no fun. i always forget to take my pills which make things even worse.

Today was my best friends 16th birthday, and shes 800 miles away in New Hampshire, which is where she lives now.

I'm getting a little bit organized in school which helps. thanks mommy:)

I work alot at chickfila :) the holidays will be crazyyy.

fall social is the 20th. my dress is beautiful. and my date is superrrrrr handsome.

I went to my first professional football game yesterday:)

Cora Voce's first performance is next thursday, and i dont have my music down.

I miss a lot of things in my life.

im exhausted.

the end.

overwhelming

Life is incredibly overwhelming. As I type this, I know I should be writing my essay for English due Thursday. I should be working on chemistry and studying my French. But I find myself drowning in work and not sure which way to turn. I sadly, cannot survive on small amounts of sleep. I also cannot fall asleep before midnight. Which results in sleeping til 8, sometimes 9 and leaving me rushing each morning. I work 3 sometimes 4 days a week and I have classes that take up my day 4 days a week. It leaves me exhausted, stretched to thin, unaccomplished, unprepared, unsocial, unfriendly, missing God, and so much more.

I miss being able to; read because I wanted to. Knit for no reason. Watch a movie in the evening. Sleep in some mornings. Talk to Matt. See my friends. and so.much.more.

Now my best friend is moving to New Hampshire, and I'm getting old, and life is flying by. I have so many goals and I haven't figured out how to motivate myself to do them just yet. I wish I could take a week off from school, and work. I could just catch up on my home duties and get myself completely put together. I dont feel like I have been "together" in a VERY long time.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my life. I love being busy and I tend to thrive in stressful situations. But I do miss things about my old life. I wish I could combine the two.

But now that I have rambled and made no sense I shall go. Attempt to write a paper and make it to bed by 1.....30. Prayers are appreciated.

Would you like Fries with that?

Today was my first day as a Team Member at Chick-Fil-A. Well, I'm going to slightly walk you through my day!

I got there, slightly rushed at 10:30 with my shift starting at 11. They told me my uniform would be in so I went early so I could get dressed. I got there and discovered my uniform wasn't in so I was given a shirt and told to change. I was wearing not so comfy jeans and flip-flops. 2 dollar foam, 2 year old flip flops. That I can't stand in for very long. So yes, I wore flip-flops on my first day of work, for 6 hours straight. Bad idea. Well, then I went out and was placed out front working on a register. Well first I should say, the floor is really slippery. I mean REALLY slippery. I felt like I was ice skating all day to say the least. It was fun in the front I could take a step or two and then sliiideee. But in the back, it was pretty dangerously slippery. Lets just say, I can't wait to get my slip resistant shoes. Well, I wasn't amazing at the register at first but I think I got it down pretty well by the end of the day. It's a learning process they keep saying:) I'll get it eventually! I worked from 11-4 so I had about a half hour to get things down until the lunch hour rush hit, and honestly, lunch hour rush was my favorite part all day!!

Of course, I messed up, I discovered I stink at making ice cream cones, and I'm good at making milkshakes. I'm trying to learn the short hand, I spill pop frequently, and seem to always forget something. But I'm getting it:) There were a few moments that stood out today, one in particular.

It was during some what of a rush, My customer had ordered a salad and dressing, I went and grabbed the salad and sitting beside it was a little container of something, I thought it was a special dressing I grabbed it and threw it in the bag. My customer soon returns asking for her dressing and as I'm grabbing it, I hear some people saying where did the blueberry topping go?? I tried not to giggle realizing I had given my customer blueberry topping for her salad. No one will ever know;)

We had a milkshake catastrophe today too and cream was everywhere. But that one wasn't COMPLETELY my fault thankfully:)

My co-workers are wonderful. They all took me under my wing and adopted me today and they all helped me out and it was great!

I should probably go to bed so I can do it all again tomorrow!!!

Explore.Discover.Pursue.

I thought I would use this post as somewhat of an update, and tell you all what this coming year will hold.

Well for those of you who don't know, I have spent my summer in Ravenswood. But thankfully I will be returning home around the first week of September. Within the first week I'm home I'll be diving back into the old routine immediately, except with a few changes. First I figured I'll list my classes I'm taking this year.

English Composition 101 -WV State

American History - Lifepac

Chemistry - Lifepac

Algebra 2 - Teaching Textbooks

Foundations in Personal Finance - Dave Ramsey DVD's

Spanish - Rosetta Stone

Home Economics - Mrs. Edwards

Photography

Test Prep ( PSAT, ACT, SAT)

Piano - Erica Rolfe

Cora Voce - Emily Capece

So those are my classes/activities:) I am also hoping to be working at Chick-Fil-A starting ASAP. I will also be taking a cleaning job that I will be cleaning at once a week :). I will also be in the process of re-doing my bedroom and then after that helping my sister and mother re-do theirs also. I will also be helping a lot and home and making lots of changes and taking on more responsibility.

But my goals for this coming year, are to explore my life, my self, my passions, and my dreams. I want to discover and then I want to pursue :) I want to follow my dreams of photography and try and get an actual business up and running. I want to follow my musical dreams also. I want to play music more often, and write from the heart. I want to grow as a musician in many different ways.

But more than anything I want to discover my relationship with Christ. I want to grow in Him in every way. Fall more in love with Him, and discover who I am in Christ. That I am His :)

I think these are good goals:) But one last goal is Time Management. I will learn to make good use of my time, and learning to get up earlier and just being useful in general :)

I think I'm going to grow and change alot this year, and I cant wait:)

Over and Under

Sometimes, I meet people who do it all. They work, do amazingly well in school, have a major social life, and still have time to relax and keep it all together. At least thats how it seems. I on the other hand only DREAM of being that put together.
What I wouldnt give to sleep the perfect 7 hours each night, wake up beautiful and rested. Get up do a ton of school or go to work looking great. I'd love to manage my social life and have straight A's and feel smart.
But this isn't me. I normally wait til the last minute to finish projects, always have a messy room, and always sleep past my alarm. My hair never lays perfect, and I dont have straight A's that I truly worked hard for. I slack off in a lot of ways and I still don't have time for anything.
Some people would call the first person an overachiever and some would call me an underachiever. I resent both titles. People normally think that people who overachieve ar stuck up, and not friendly, and work too hard. Especially teenagers. But as a Christian I should be giving 100% in everything I do. School, cleaning, friends, and much more. Some people would think, your just a teenager you dont need to be working so hard. But I feel as though I should be, in order to give 100% for God!
I can promise you, I will still have hairs out of place and my make-up wont be perfect. I wont get perfect scores on all school assignments, and I will still hit the snooze button 10 times some mornings. But I can tell you that I hope when you see me now, I'm a bit more put together, and doing 100% in everything I do. Call it want you want. But I'm ready to be an overachiever.

Praise You in this Storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes onto the hills

where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

My life recently has been a storm. But I'm learning to praise him in my storms.

Today driving home from Ravenswood I drove through the biggest storm I had seen in a long time. It was only me and Katie, and I'll admit. I was terrified. I knew our lives were in my hands....but I knew overall they were in God's hands. On the way home I started to pray harder than I have in quite a while. I was begging God to keep us safe. To get me to the next exit alive. To control the car and those around me. We ended up getting off an exit, and going down a road I didnt really know. But God stopped the rain while I was lost. He truly kept us safe today, and I'm incredibly thankful. Yes I hydroplaned a few times and came close to loosing control. But I was safe in His hands. I praised Him through that storm.

Now I'm ready to praise him through the storm I'm going through now:)

Fight like a Girl

Have you seen the fight like a girl shirts? They are for breast cancer and such. But you know i like it. Im going to fight like a girl in other ways.

I'm sure my last post could have shown signs of depression. I have plenty of things to be depressed about, and right now I feel awful so my hope didnt seem very strong. But then a friend texted me, asked how i was doing, made sure i was ok emotionally and wasn't having feelings of depression. I quickly replied with of course not! How could I with a great weekend coming up. My cousins rehearsal dinner and wedding 2 new dresses to wear and takings pictures with a $600 camera. This weekend will be a party and a half and i will have the time of my life. I in a way replied this, just to make her think I was ok. But after typing it out. I thought how in the world could i be depressed? If i just take it slowly and look at it one step at a time, and see how blessed I am with each passing day I truly think I can fight like a girl and beat this thing :).

So girls heres my challenge to you. Look at each day, each week, each month, and overall each year, at every blessing that comes your way. The things you get to do, the blessings that are bestowed on you, the people that come into your life, and everything that comes your way...dont forget to fight like a girl. Beat it:) Don't let the rude comment the girl made, or the guy that never calls you, or the things going on at home get you down. Fight Like a Girl :)

-meg

the little green monster

I have dealt with alot of emotions recently, but I think the one i want to write about now, is jealousy. I think its going to be good for me to talk this out. I know i deal with jealousy in many ways, but the one way that i have struggled the most recently is over something big. Something i have probably hindered things, because of my jealousy.

You see it all started probably around November 2008. My youth group did a points system to qualify for missions trips, and fun trips. I hadn't done very well and my youth pastor's wife told me I needed to bring my points up to 75%. I was at 50 something, in order to qualify for the missions trip to Italy that following summer. I didn't have long to raise my points MAJORLY. I worked incredibly hard over that probably next month. I worked memorizing verses doing extra things, doing everything at all possible. when the time came that it was over I was told I has 76.9%. I had qualified to go to Italy. I was going to Italy. I was beyond excited and couldnt stop talking about it. A few months later, we were told the trip to Italy needed to be canceled. Time passed and we ended up going to Leadership Camp for our missions trip, and I knew ok this is just preparing me for Italy next year! Well this year rolls around. I work HARD and again qualify for the trip. This time it was really happening. We were going to Italy. I got my stuff to get my passport. Went to meetings got incredibly excited with my bestfriend about the trip. Only to be informed, I would not be going to Italy. My mom didnt think it was a good idea for me to go.

As I type this, my best friend, youth pastor and others are in Grosseto, Italy. I am sitting in my bed in good ole West Virginia. I keep asking myself, and God, why arent I there? Why did this happen. I read my youth pastors blog posts and I try to feel good about it. But when i read it, i honestly just want to cry. I want to experience the Trevi Fountain and the Mamertine Prison. I hate that im not there. I want to. I have loved Italy for as long as i can remember. I want to be there. I have such serious feelings of jealousy i know its not right. I cant let go....i should be there. I should be experiencing it. in a few days my other best friend will leave for Moldova. why am i the only one stuck here? I want out. Im jealous of the experiences they have had. and will experience while im stuck here.im jealous im jealous im jealous. but.....

I'm letting it go here. I'm going to pray for them on the remainder of the trip. I'm going to pray fervently for the Italy team and the Moldova team. It is my mission, and my calling.

change

life changes. rapidly. when you blink your life changes.

my life has changed so much in the past few weeks im ready to take a break and breathe.

life in the usa

Yes im just writing I'm not to sure what about. I just wanted to write. I'm on a facebook break and so theres nothing else to do, ok well thats a lie. i could be:
memorizing lines for play scenes 1-4
knitting my ahg project
school
practicing piano
cleaning my room
journaling
reading Jane Eyre

well you get the idea something productive would probably be a good idea. But eh, i wanted to write. I havent written in a while

idunno. oh and blogspot has definitely been messing up for me recently. i have a wordpress one now. check me out justmeg94.wordpress.com

Thankful

These past two weeks have been crazy i cant begin to explain.i got 4 hours of sleep last night. I'm beyond tired. I'm sick. slightly miserable.

But I'm thankful.

for:
family
God
Matt
Charis
Food
Katie
Liz

LOVE

The climb

Life has been absolutely crazy recently. You should see my calendar. Pretty full... Heres a small idea of what my week is normally like... Mondays work from 10-3.Tuesdays Piano at 2 and everyother week AHG. Wednesdays home and cook dinner Church at 7. Thursdays Co-op Speech and Biology Lab 1-430. Friday free. Saturday free.Sunday Church 930-12 Church/choir 445-730. So just imagine me squeezing a weeks worth of school studying,and projects in there.Oh yes..and friends and family..doesnt leave much time hoenstly. Ha....well tomorrow..is yet another crazy day..i must go..just pray for me.

Its the climb**

best friend <3

I'm sitting here...thoughts running wild. I'm listening to music..thinking maybe..it will drown out my thoughts. I havent slept well all week. Thing change, and I have come to accept them.
So many things have changed in a matter of a week. I made a decision, that wasnt easy. But i knew God didnt want a certain thing in my life right now. Not saying its bad or wont happen in the future, but right now I MUST focus on other things.
I feel as though things are changing, and I hope and pray for the better. School is beyond stressful. I feel as though my family is changing just things are different. My friendships havent been strong. I said something out of place, and messed up big time.
I know the way im writing isnt proper. But thats because my brain doesnt think in complete thoughts anymore.
I have learned through this, friendship is key. I realized i had a bestfriend who i had not treated right. Luckily she forgave me. Shes all thats keeping me going these days....dont forsake your friendships for something that might not last.










pray for me. please.

Wish upon a Star

Its 11pm im sitting outside on the deck. Im drinking root beer and listening to music and looking at the stars.So many thoughts are running through my head. Today has been a wondeful day of friends and family. Tonight i was able to spend time with our wonderful neighbors and my parents and sister. It was great seeing my dad stress free...and having fun. he needed that. soo much.

im sitting here thinking about what tomorrow holds. A dear friend of mine is getting married tomorrow. Katrina Vance. Katrina has always been a part of my life..my mom would take her to school when we were in elementary school. She was my babysitter for a long time. She was my volleyball captain the first year i played. i went on a missions trip with her. She was a role model in my life for as long as i can remember. Shes getting married tomorrow. not sure if i have grasped that concept yet. She still seems so young..like the 10th grader who babysat me...and yet i think...im in 10th grade. wow. before it..i will be getting married. wow. its crazy to think..that in a matter of 7 years..i will have graduated College.wow. i think my life has started going just BIT to fast for my liking. come on....i just had my 10th birthday party at the skating rink last week right? i guess not..maybe that was over 5 years ago...i will be 16. in 8 months. i will be a jr in highschool next year. Ok. moving WAY to fast.

but if i could wish upon a star....heres what i would wish.
I would wish that God would give me peace and guidance...to get through my life. To be able to show me what i need to do in my life. That i would go to the right school major in the right thing. Marry the right guy.

I just decided...i dont need a star to wish on..i have a God i can call on and ask for these things.

This summer.

this guy.

late nights.

Best Friends.

Long Car Rides.

These amazing people.

In case you were wondering what my summer has consisted of.

Wisdom from the South

Who knew someone could learn so much or be so changed as i was while i was down south. For those of you who didnt know, i went to Southland Christian Camp for L.I.G.H.T. camp for two weeks. June 28-July11. Honestly...i didnt want to go. I mean come on....no cell phone laptop or TV for two weeks? yea they were crazy. i couldnt do that. let alone being away from my family and friends for that long. I told God nope im not going, i wanna go to Kings Island with Matt and enjoy my summer, and work on my tan. I do NOT want to go to Louisiana where its humid and hot all the time. But while i was at the Wilds God really worked on me about that. It was like....I knew i needed to go, and i knew how good it would be for me, but honestly i think i was just afraid of change.

Welll i went. and guess what? things changed. alot. Getting down there...i was homesick and hard. Well i didnt let that last too long, the homesick thing lasted awhile, but the hard heart didnt, i opened up immediately. first session...i was like woah. 1st service, woah again. morning devos wow! and it continued this way for 2 straight weeks. God did an amazing work, and i am a different person, i will never again be the same.

It has taken me a whole week...and i still feel a little weird being home. for the first few days i felt like a complete stranger. it was so weird. I think it was just being back around sin...and the temptation to sin. i felt weird, and wrong and like i didnt belong. I wasnt perfect this past week, but i would like to say i was a better christian than before. I'm working on improving and its sometimes a slow process. But Gods in control.

-meg