life in the usa

Yes im just writing I'm not to sure what about. I just wanted to write. I'm on a facebook break and so theres nothing else to do, ok well thats a lie. i could be:
memorizing lines for play scenes 1-4
knitting my ahg project
school
practicing piano
cleaning my room
journaling
reading Jane Eyre

well you get the idea something productive would probably be a good idea. But eh, i wanted to write. I havent written in a while

idunno. oh and blogspot has definitely been messing up for me recently. i have a wordpress one now. check me out justmeg94.wordpress.com

Thankful

These past two weeks have been crazy i cant begin to explain.i got 4 hours of sleep last night. I'm beyond tired. I'm sick. slightly miserable.

But I'm thankful.

for:
family
God
Matt
Charis
Food
Katie
Liz

LOVE

The climb

Life has been absolutely crazy recently. You should see my calendar. Pretty full... Heres a small idea of what my week is normally like... Mondays work from 10-3.Tuesdays Piano at 2 and everyother week AHG. Wednesdays home and cook dinner Church at 7. Thursdays Co-op Speech and Biology Lab 1-430. Friday free. Saturday free.Sunday Church 930-12 Church/choir 445-730. So just imagine me squeezing a weeks worth of school studying,and projects in there.Oh yes..and friends and family..doesnt leave much time hoenstly. Ha....well tomorrow..is yet another crazy day..i must go..just pray for me.

Its the climb**

best friend <3

I'm sitting here...thoughts running wild. I'm listening to music..thinking maybe..it will drown out my thoughts. I havent slept well all week. Thing change, and I have come to accept them.
So many things have changed in a matter of a week. I made a decision, that wasnt easy. But i knew God didnt want a certain thing in my life right now. Not saying its bad or wont happen in the future, but right now I MUST focus on other things.
I feel as though things are changing, and I hope and pray for the better. School is beyond stressful. I feel as though my family is changing just things are different. My friendships havent been strong. I said something out of place, and messed up big time.
I know the way im writing isnt proper. But thats because my brain doesnt think in complete thoughts anymore.
I have learned through this, friendship is key. I realized i had a bestfriend who i had not treated right. Luckily she forgave me. Shes all thats keeping me going these days....dont forsake your friendships for something that might not last.










pray for me. please.

Wish upon a Star

Its 11pm im sitting outside on the deck. Im drinking root beer and listening to music and looking at the stars.So many thoughts are running through my head. Today has been a wondeful day of friends and family. Tonight i was able to spend time with our wonderful neighbors and my parents and sister. It was great seeing my dad stress free...and having fun. he needed that. soo much.

im sitting here thinking about what tomorrow holds. A dear friend of mine is getting married tomorrow. Katrina Vance. Katrina has always been a part of my life..my mom would take her to school when we were in elementary school. She was my babysitter for a long time. She was my volleyball captain the first year i played. i went on a missions trip with her. She was a role model in my life for as long as i can remember. Shes getting married tomorrow. not sure if i have grasped that concept yet. She still seems so young..like the 10th grader who babysat me...and yet i think...im in 10th grade. wow. before it..i will be getting married. wow. its crazy to think..that in a matter of 7 years..i will have graduated College.wow. i think my life has started going just BIT to fast for my liking. come on....i just had my 10th birthday party at the skating rink last week right? i guess not..maybe that was over 5 years ago...i will be 16. in 8 months. i will be a jr in highschool next year. Ok. moving WAY to fast.

but if i could wish upon a star....heres what i would wish.
I would wish that God would give me peace and guidance...to get through my life. To be able to show me what i need to do in my life. That i would go to the right school major in the right thing. Marry the right guy.

I just decided...i dont need a star to wish on..i have a God i can call on and ask for these things.

This summer.

this guy.

late nights.

Best Friends.

Long Car Rides.

These amazing people.

In case you were wondering what my summer has consisted of.

Wisdom from the South

Who knew someone could learn so much or be so changed as i was while i was down south. For those of you who didnt know, i went to Southland Christian Camp for L.I.G.H.T. camp for two weeks. June 28-July11. Honestly...i didnt want to go. I mean come on....no cell phone laptop or TV for two weeks? yea they were crazy. i couldnt do that. let alone being away from my family and friends for that long. I told God nope im not going, i wanna go to Kings Island with Matt and enjoy my summer, and work on my tan. I do NOT want to go to Louisiana where its humid and hot all the time. But while i was at the Wilds God really worked on me about that. It was like....I knew i needed to go, and i knew how good it would be for me, but honestly i think i was just afraid of change.

Welll i went. and guess what? things changed. alot. Getting down there...i was homesick and hard. Well i didnt let that last too long, the homesick thing lasted awhile, but the hard heart didnt, i opened up immediately. first session...i was like woah. 1st service, woah again. morning devos wow! and it continued this way for 2 straight weeks. God did an amazing work, and i am a different person, i will never again be the same.

It has taken me a whole week...and i still feel a little weird being home. for the first few days i felt like a complete stranger. it was so weird. I think it was just being back around sin...and the temptation to sin. i felt weird, and wrong and like i didnt belong. I wasnt perfect this past week, but i would like to say i was a better christian than before. I'm working on improving and its sometimes a slow process. But Gods in control.

-meg

I run to You

I run from hate

I run from prejudice

I run from pessimists

But I run too late

I run my life

Or is it running me

Run from my past

I run too fast

Or too slow it seems

When lies become the truth

That's when I run to You

This world keeps spinning faster

Into a new disaster so I run to You

I run to you

And when it all starts coming undone

God you're the only one I run to

I run to You

We run on fumes

Your life and mine

Like the sands of time

Slippin' right on through

And Your love's the only Truth

That's why I run to You

This song was changed a bit, because when i hear this song i think of it as talking about my relationship between me and God. I have learned more in the past week than ever before, that God is the one i need to run to with open arms. If you are learning to run to a best friend, boyfriend, girlfriend before anyone else even before God, its so wrong. God is there and we can always run to him. Learn to run to him, and your life will improve i promise.

From a Guys view

This is a repost..of a repost..of a friend on facebook...i thougth it was really interesting seeing this coming from a guys view..but guys i just want you to know..that its hard here too. on our side...really its not easy.. but this was just interesting..take the time to read it please.
Thought this was worth a repost. Written by a friend from school. I feel ya, bro.-------------------------------------------------------------Teenage relationships are bizarre ordeals. They are seen by some as a game, by some as a plague, by some as a good time, by others life and death, by others as nature’s cruel fate on anyone that hits puberty, and by most a way to find that one with which you will spend the rest of your life, or at least you hope so. The way you see these things will most likely show what you want out of a relationship and how you view the opposite sex (for me it would be girls). Those that see it as a game have a set of mental “rules” that they set up in order to win the “prize” which also differs from person to person. Those that see it as a plague tend to avoid the issue altogether (sometimes I can see why). Those just looking for a good time generally aren’t looking for the long term commitment, and therefore they bail when the going gets tough or the relationship is “too serious.” Those that see it as life and death, well…lets just say they look to the other person to solve all their problems and when that person cant, drama happens (this group needs to grow up just a little). And for those that are looking for somebody to marry, they tends to get tunnel vision and only at the opposites as potential mates (and that’s just dumb).Now as a guy looking to get married someday, I put some mental effort into this, just so I could see how I was going to approach the matter. I guess my thoughts started with feelings, and let’s just say I didn’t not like them. It is a well known fact that society glorifies the beauty of women. Society gets it from men, which also glorify the beauty of women. We admire it so much that those of us that are rhetorically challenged can do nothing more than stutter and stammer ourselves into embarrassment. I look in the eyes of some girls, and my mind goes blank; I am lost and simply awestruck….then I realize she asked a question, and I look like a bumbling idiot. Sometimes it’s the smile that gets me. She laughs and I can’t think of anything other than thinking of something to do something to make her do it again. Eyes, smile, hair, skin, personality, abilities, mind, the list goes on – any number or mixture of things can make a guy’s world stop to the point that he can only hear and feel his heart beating. Then, I try to come up with something that will adequately express these feelings. Thinking at this point is futile, and sadly, my vocabulary reduces to one word, “hey.” And after the seemingly never-ending silence, my vocabulary decides to return with a rush of all terms that ever-so-adequately define the idiocy that has become me. At this point I might as well just hop away on the foot that’s not stuck in my mouth.What is a guy to do? Here I am making a fool of myself in front of the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen and I have no ideas on how to recover…lucky me…honestly, You would think I could handle the adrenaline rush that comes with all this. I mean I play sports, and I’ve made my share of game-winning shots without blinking or having a second thought, but I can’t come up with anything other than “hi” when talking to another human being? Which brings up another point. GamesWhat is the deal with these games that we play when we are attracted to someone? Like the “playing TOO hard to get game.” Here are the rules –1. You like me2. I like you3. You pretend I don’t exist4. I pursue the person who doesn’t think I existFor some reason I don’t like the way that game plays out. Why is it such a big secret that we find someone attractive? It’s nature. And, ladies, it’s a big deal for a guy when he asks you out, or even talks to you for the first time. Don’t ignore him, that’s just rude and inconsiderate. Give him a chance. And if he’s not the most conversational person, you’re probably just making him nervous.- New subject - I see a girl I like. I don’t wanna make a fool out of myself so I go to the drawing board and try to think of new ways to express the feeling of being beauty-struck. And as I think, I watch TV for ideas. I’ve got it…Poetry!...“roses are red”….no, too cliché.“When I look into your eyes, they remind me of blue skies….”…..ummmm no.“and then I saw her face, now I’m a believer…”…..good, but taken“ Well, I was sittin here thinkin‘Wow, you looked beautiful today’So I picked up a pen and just started dinkinAnd said to myself, I hope this turns out ok…I look into your eyes and wish you were mineBlank goes my mind, and a chill down my spine.I can’t hold the gaze and I stare at the ground.Not a word to be found that can duly proclaimThe beauty this girl has to her nameSo in my mouth lies my tongue like the lameAnd I think to myself…’man I sure hate this game.’”………well ive reached a new low and with that I move on to my next idea.Flowers….ill just give her flowers and leave a tag that says “anonymous.” Yeah, that’s it. It shows the girl that she is being pursued and that she is wanted exactly as she is and I hear they like flowers. It’s the perfect idea. But then I psych myself out and think that the guys are going to think I’m sappy and gay, and she won’t know it’s me, and if she did she’d probably say, no. ok, scratch that.Direct approach……I walk up and say “hi, my name is Ryan, and I think you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. And, I was wondering if you would want to go out for dinner or a movie sometime?” girls say this is what they want, right? A guy to just tell her he likes her and ask her out…………….well, when I asked one of my female friends about this she said it would be too forward and that I need to have a conversation first…….i said, ok……but in my mind I thought, theres a problem. All I can think of is “hi”. And, when I do really good and throw a few more words in like “hi, hows life” or “hey, how’ve you been” or even “hey, how’re classes going”. If I muster up that much, I get the same “good. You?”; which I answer “Good”, thus ending the conversation and me no closer to the girl that I started. Next idea…Chivalrous approach…………..I’ll ride up on my white horse, jump down, kiss her and not say a word. We jump on the horse and ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after in the castle I am heir to. After we are married of course.I quit…….I know my thoughts have been scattered, but the point I’m trying to make is that girls give us feelings that we don’t get from anything else. Most of us don’t know quite what to do with ourselves. And, I know there are the guys out there that can just do this without thinking twice. I’m not one of those guys. I get all nervous and sweaty and all manner of messed up when I talk to an attractive girl. And, by writing this I helped myself sort some stuff out; I thought girls would like to see what goes on in a guys mind and I thought guys might be able to get some help from this.I’d like to know thoughts from guys and girls so leave the comments.

I'm free to Be me

Have you heard that song? free to be me by whats her face...i cant spell her name but whatever. I like it. alot. haha.
its been a long time since i posted last, and when i was getting on here i thought i would have more to write about. but now as im writing im drawing a blank.
a quick update, I have a wonderful friend boy who im enjoying getting to know better and better =] his name would be matt. and hes pretty great. no folks. hes not my boyfriend. we arent dating so dont ask. hes my friend boy as i said, hes a friend who means something to mee...and i just am getting to know him. ha.
school is practically out. but i will hopefully be starting back up with school when i get back from southland in july.

thats my life. i will most likely write some more tonight, when im alone and the words come easier.