Fight like a Girl

Have you seen the fight like a girl shirts? They are for breast cancer and such. But you know i like it. Im going to fight like a girl in other ways.

I'm sure my last post could have shown signs of depression. I have plenty of things to be depressed about, and right now I feel awful so my hope didnt seem very strong. But then a friend texted me, asked how i was doing, made sure i was ok emotionally and wasn't having feelings of depression. I quickly replied with of course not! How could I with a great weekend coming up. My cousins rehearsal dinner and wedding 2 new dresses to wear and takings pictures with a $600 camera. This weekend will be a party and a half and i will have the time of my life. I in a way replied this, just to make her think I was ok. But after typing it out. I thought how in the world could i be depressed? If i just take it slowly and look at it one step at a time, and see how blessed I am with each passing day I truly think I can fight like a girl and beat this thing :).

So girls heres my challenge to you. Look at each day, each week, each month, and overall each year, at every blessing that comes your way. The things you get to do, the blessings that are bestowed on you, the people that come into your life, and everything that comes your way...dont forget to fight like a girl. Beat it:) Don't let the rude comment the girl made, or the guy that never calls you, or the things going on at home get you down. Fight Like a Girl :)

-meg

the little green monster

I have dealt with alot of emotions recently, but I think the one i want to write about now, is jealousy. I think its going to be good for me to talk this out. I know i deal with jealousy in many ways, but the one way that i have struggled the most recently is over something big. Something i have probably hindered things, because of my jealousy.

You see it all started probably around November 2008. My youth group did a points system to qualify for missions trips, and fun trips. I hadn't done very well and my youth pastor's wife told me I needed to bring my points up to 75%. I was at 50 something, in order to qualify for the missions trip to Italy that following summer. I didn't have long to raise my points MAJORLY. I worked incredibly hard over that probably next month. I worked memorizing verses doing extra things, doing everything at all possible. when the time came that it was over I was told I has 76.9%. I had qualified to go to Italy. I was going to Italy. I was beyond excited and couldnt stop talking about it. A few months later, we were told the trip to Italy needed to be canceled. Time passed and we ended up going to Leadership Camp for our missions trip, and I knew ok this is just preparing me for Italy next year! Well this year rolls around. I work HARD and again qualify for the trip. This time it was really happening. We were going to Italy. I got my stuff to get my passport. Went to meetings got incredibly excited with my bestfriend about the trip. Only to be informed, I would not be going to Italy. My mom didnt think it was a good idea for me to go.

As I type this, my best friend, youth pastor and others are in Grosseto, Italy. I am sitting in my bed in good ole West Virginia. I keep asking myself, and God, why arent I there? Why did this happen. I read my youth pastors blog posts and I try to feel good about it. But when i read it, i honestly just want to cry. I want to experience the Trevi Fountain and the Mamertine Prison. I hate that im not there. I want to. I have loved Italy for as long as i can remember. I want to be there. I have such serious feelings of jealousy i know its not right. I cant let go....i should be there. I should be experiencing it. in a few days my other best friend will leave for Moldova. why am i the only one stuck here? I want out. Im jealous of the experiences they have had. and will experience while im stuck here.im jealous im jealous im jealous. but.....

I'm letting it go here. I'm going to pray for them on the remainder of the trip. I'm going to pray fervently for the Italy team and the Moldova team. It is my mission, and my calling.

change

life changes. rapidly. when you blink your life changes.

my life has changed so much in the past few weeks im ready to take a break and breathe.

life in the usa

Yes im just writing I'm not to sure what about. I just wanted to write. I'm on a facebook break and so theres nothing else to do, ok well thats a lie. i could be:
memorizing lines for play scenes 1-4
knitting my ahg project
school
practicing piano
cleaning my room
journaling
reading Jane Eyre

well you get the idea something productive would probably be a good idea. But eh, i wanted to write. I havent written in a while

idunno. oh and blogspot has definitely been messing up for me recently. i have a wordpress one now. check me out justmeg94.wordpress.com

Thankful

These past two weeks have been crazy i cant begin to explain.i got 4 hours of sleep last night. I'm beyond tired. I'm sick. slightly miserable.

But I'm thankful.

for:
family
God
Matt
Charis
Food
Katie
Liz

LOVE

The climb

Life has been absolutely crazy recently. You should see my calendar. Pretty full... Heres a small idea of what my week is normally like... Mondays work from 10-3.Tuesdays Piano at 2 and everyother week AHG. Wednesdays home and cook dinner Church at 7. Thursdays Co-op Speech and Biology Lab 1-430. Friday free. Saturday free.Sunday Church 930-12 Church/choir 445-730. So just imagine me squeezing a weeks worth of school studying,and projects in there.Oh yes..and friends and family..doesnt leave much time hoenstly. Ha....well tomorrow..is yet another crazy day..i must go..just pray for me.

Its the climb**

best friend <3

I'm sitting here...thoughts running wild. I'm listening to music..thinking maybe..it will drown out my thoughts. I havent slept well all week. Thing change, and I have come to accept them.
So many things have changed in a matter of a week. I made a decision, that wasnt easy. But i knew God didnt want a certain thing in my life right now. Not saying its bad or wont happen in the future, but right now I MUST focus on other things.
I feel as though things are changing, and I hope and pray for the better. School is beyond stressful. I feel as though my family is changing just things are different. My friendships havent been strong. I said something out of place, and messed up big time.
I know the way im writing isnt proper. But thats because my brain doesnt think in complete thoughts anymore.
I have learned through this, friendship is key. I realized i had a bestfriend who i had not treated right. Luckily she forgave me. Shes all thats keeping me going these days....dont forsake your friendships for something that might not last.










pray for me. please.

Wish upon a Star

Its 11pm im sitting outside on the deck. Im drinking root beer and listening to music and looking at the stars.So many thoughts are running through my head. Today has been a wondeful day of friends and family. Tonight i was able to spend time with our wonderful neighbors and my parents and sister. It was great seeing my dad stress free...and having fun. he needed that. soo much.

im sitting here thinking about what tomorrow holds. A dear friend of mine is getting married tomorrow. Katrina Vance. Katrina has always been a part of my life..my mom would take her to school when we were in elementary school. She was my babysitter for a long time. She was my volleyball captain the first year i played. i went on a missions trip with her. She was a role model in my life for as long as i can remember. Shes getting married tomorrow. not sure if i have grasped that concept yet. She still seems so young..like the 10th grader who babysat me...and yet i think...im in 10th grade. wow. before it..i will be getting married. wow. its crazy to think..that in a matter of 7 years..i will have graduated College.wow. i think my life has started going just BIT to fast for my liking. come on....i just had my 10th birthday party at the skating rink last week right? i guess not..maybe that was over 5 years ago...i will be 16. in 8 months. i will be a jr in highschool next year. Ok. moving WAY to fast.

but if i could wish upon a star....heres what i would wish.
I would wish that God would give me peace and guidance...to get through my life. To be able to show me what i need to do in my life. That i would go to the right school major in the right thing. Marry the right guy.

I just decided...i dont need a star to wish on..i have a God i can call on and ask for these things.

This summer.

this guy.

late nights.

Best Friends.

Long Car Rides.

These amazing people.

In case you were wondering what my summer has consisted of.

Wisdom from the South

Who knew someone could learn so much or be so changed as i was while i was down south. For those of you who didnt know, i went to Southland Christian Camp for L.I.G.H.T. camp for two weeks. June 28-July11. Honestly...i didnt want to go. I mean come on....no cell phone laptop or TV for two weeks? yea they were crazy. i couldnt do that. let alone being away from my family and friends for that long. I told God nope im not going, i wanna go to Kings Island with Matt and enjoy my summer, and work on my tan. I do NOT want to go to Louisiana where its humid and hot all the time. But while i was at the Wilds God really worked on me about that. It was like....I knew i needed to go, and i knew how good it would be for me, but honestly i think i was just afraid of change.

Welll i went. and guess what? things changed. alot. Getting down there...i was homesick and hard. Well i didnt let that last too long, the homesick thing lasted awhile, but the hard heart didnt, i opened up immediately. first session...i was like woah. 1st service, woah again. morning devos wow! and it continued this way for 2 straight weeks. God did an amazing work, and i am a different person, i will never again be the same.

It has taken me a whole week...and i still feel a little weird being home. for the first few days i felt like a complete stranger. it was so weird. I think it was just being back around sin...and the temptation to sin. i felt weird, and wrong and like i didnt belong. I wasnt perfect this past week, but i would like to say i was a better christian than before. I'm working on improving and its sometimes a slow process. But Gods in control.

-meg